You Don't Even Know
by strychix
Summary: Everyone knows Kyle and Eric aren't only gay but gay for one another. Except maybe them. A not so happy winter break.
1. After Hannuka

A/N: Second SP fanfic, this time not a one shot.

Uh, still might be crap, I dunno. Better than my last one I guess.

I feel bad that I have two DN fanfics unfinished and one HP fanfic unfinished and I'm starting this one.

--

Cartman was an insufferable little pissant. Biggotted, money hungry, whiny, selfish, fat, and wouldn't know true love if it threw himself at him.

Kyle was motherly in his own right. Preachy, wise, smart, determined, unusually calm, Jewish, a ginger, and was definately going somewhere in life, even if he wasn't quite sure where yet.

Everyone else had watched the two since before they could really remember. They simply hated each other for the longest time, it gradually escalating into murder attempts on Eric's part. Finally it got to a point in late middle school where all their classmates had a sudden 'ah!' moment. It wasn't even a rumor, everyone just seemed to suddenly understand something. If either of them changed from those respective descriptions just a little, just strayed away from it, those two wouldn't be rolling on the ground kicking each others ass.

They'd be rolling on the ground pounding each others ass.

Kyle was gay. He hadn't officially came out yet, even now that they were sixteen, but there was no question. He wouldn't have denied it if anyone had asked. No, it was probably just in attempt to have one less thing for Cartman to pick on him for, or as everyone else saw, for Cartman to hate him for. However, a lot of people put their money on the steadfast Stan, who's popularity was almost ridiculous, or Kenny, because though Kenny still hid himself under a hoody, he was as handsome as ever. Not to mention maybe the lawyer family's boy could save the poor family's boy from eventually ending up just like his parents. There were boys that had supposedly asked out Kyle and been refused. Not under the pretense of 'I'm not gay' but instead 'I'm not ready.'

Cartman, who knew? The fat boy would probably take what was given to him no matter gender. As far as anyone could tell, Cartman was perhaps a closet case, completely unaware himself. Think Garrison.

Even Stan and Kenny watched with raised eyebrows as things got more heated between the two. Physical fights had started quite often, and the two on and off refused to be in one another's presence. Kenny was more open about it than Stan, who didn't care if his friend was gay but rather he didn't fuck anyone within their group, that had for the most part stayed together over the years.

Kenny actually made a little money in betting on the boys. No one knew sex like him, after all, and he had the upperhand by knowing the two boys so well. He'd know when something was about to happen. Not that they would themselves until it happened. They were both so oblivious, so locked up, so unpredictable that they'd go upon normal daily life and then explode one day.

Kyle's main focus was on school during his sophmore year, needing to make it big and into a good college. Cartman was only a bother to him, one he had realized a long time ago that perhaps was easier to deal with with fists, even if it looked bad on his record and wasn't exactly what an intellectual should do.

Cartman. Well, Cartman was the same as ever. He hated Kyle because of what Kyle was. That's all that really had to be said about him.

So it was in December, when it was even colder than usual in that hick mountain town of theirs, that school break started and all four of them walked in the snow from their bus stop.

"If Wendy was my girlfriend, I'd tell her 'AYE BITCH! Bend over and take it like the hoe you are. There's more of you out there, so you better get to appreciating my cock!"

"Yes, Cartman, that's why you don't have a girlfriend." Stan rolled his eyes. Adding 'or a boyfriend' only caused problems, even if it was horribly true.

Kyle stopped fidgeting with his backpack, which he had just put a book back into, and raced to meet up with the rest of the kids. He still wore a hat which was much the same as the ones he'd been wearing for many years, more because of his insecurity about his 'jewfro' then anything else. "Speaking of which, when are you going to engage to Wendy? You've only been dating her on and off for like, eight years dude."

"That's just the problem, on and off." Stan looked worried and Kenny mumbled something about tasting multiple fruits before picking them or some shit. Kyle put his hand on his friend's shoulder. "It's not that I don't love her. But sometimes it just seems that we aren't really right for one another."

"Why? She's smart, whiny, moralisticly pushy. It's like you're dating Kyle with tits."

"HEY!" Stan said, shocked. He wasn't the gay one here.

The Jew just sighed. "Well, even including tits the only thing you're missing is the whole 'smart' factor, fatass." The two opposing figures growled at one another momentarily as they kept walking, Stan between them and Kenny now pushing himself between Cartman and Stan. Afterall, sudden contact away from school may encourage stuff he hadn't had the chance to bet on yet. He needed that damned money.

The chilly air was thick then. It had gotten like that quite often recently. the tension and pressure enough to almost break them. The anamosity between the two, Kenny's usual silence, and Stan's I'm-Staying-Out-Of-It attitude was pulling them apart. However, what else could they do?

They eventually parted their seperate ways, living on different blocks, Kyle kicked snow with each step, thinking quietly to himself. There was just a lot on his mind lately. Hannuka was almost over, since it had started earlier in the month this year. This was exciting because after Hannuka, his family was going off to his grandparents with Ike. He had the priviledge of not going and he took it. He was sixteen now, and he wanted to prove he was responsible.

And he just didn't want to go.

His mother hadn't been too keen on the idea but she had uncharacteristically stepped down when he stood up for himself. The deal was that there was only one friend allowed at a time because if you put all the kids in his group together there was sure to be trouble. And it was true, so therefore not worth arguing about.

He entered his house, a little excited and a little exhasperated. He still wasn't quite sure about being a Jew sometimes. He was proud of his heritage, he just wasn't sure he always believed in it. He sighed as his mom beaconed him into the kitchen to help.

--

Five days later Kyle's family was packing up the family car. His mom was resetting the same rules he'd planned on protecting anyways. Stan was already there, he'd be spending the night tonight. He said goodbye and unwillingly kissed his mom goodbye, his friend snickering slightly in the background. When they went into the house as the car pulled away, he half assedly punched his friends shoulder. "Fucker."

"Watch your language Bubbie." A smirk.

He ran his hand through his red, curly hair, muttering. "If I wanted to be made fun of I would have invited Cartman."

Stan jumped on the couch. "Speaking of which, you let it slip in front of him that you'd be here alone." It was true, though Kyle hadn't known that Cartman had been right behind him. "He's going to be here eventually, whether you invite him or not. In fact, I'd check each morning to see if your house has been TPed or egged."

Kyle sighed heavily and closed his eyes as he also sat on the couch gently. Stan stared at him. Sometimes it was just so unbelievable to even consider the fatass and him together, in fact he didn't believe it. Maybe he just didn't want to believe it but the whole thing was getting old now, really, and it hadn't happened yet. He nodded to himself, deciding to no longer be waiting for the stuff to happen that might not, to stop worrying about just might what happen if it does miracally. He was broken from his reverie by Kyle, noticably changing the subject. "So, how are things with Wendy?"

Wendy. Things with Wendy were as rocky as ever. Over the years her jealousy and imposing behavior seemed to have magnified. He still liked her, but he couldn't help but think that having sex frequently didn't help that quite a bit. It was like he sometimes wanted to break up with her but couldn't imagine not being with her. He pinched the bridge of his nose. "I dunno, it goes back and forth. Sometimes I want to worship her, sometimes I want to kick her to the curb." He shrugged. "What do you think of her?"

"Wendy? She's nice and smart, I suppose... I like her, but there's always seemed to be another layer to her we don't see. She's scary." They laughed then and turned on the TV, watching it mindlessly, thinking.

"Hey, Kyle?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you gay?"

Silence. Neither one of them looked at one another for a long time before Stan finally turned to see Kyle staring at the TV worridly. "Hey." He pushed and Kyle looked back at him. "I don't really care either way, it just seems like you are." Big green eyes stared at him. "You don't ACT gay, Kyle, so don't look at me that way. You're not like Big Gay Al or anything kind of gay, or Garrison gay, but it just seems you've never been interested in girls once. And when you've been asked out by gay kids, you never said you weren't gay just that you weren't ready for anything." More silence. "Fine, you don't have to answer, I don't care that much, I was just wondering."

"You can't tell Cartman."

"Can't tell me what?" Cartman was behind them, silently having snuck into the house.

There wasn't even a heartbeat's time before Kyle screamed, spinning around. "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE, CARTMAN!" 


	2. Tug of Hate

A/N: Thanks guys for your support. If you have any ideas, tell me and I'll run by them. This chapter is longer than the last one, you'll find I'm horribly inconsistent when it comes to word count.

--

Cartman was doing what Cartman does. Piss off Kyle. He took great interest in just how angry he and he alone could make the boy. He smirked evilly as Kyle screamed at him over the backside of the couch. Wishing he had shown up just moments before to find out what they were talking about that was so secret, he watching the JewRat scream at him as if he'd just broken his MP3 player. Which he had at one point. His smile widened.

"Don't grin like that at me, fatass."

"I'm not fat, I'm-"

"A HIPPO."

"EY!" Stan was watching them. It seemed to Eric that everyone always seemed to watch them when they fought. Like that they might finally kill one another and they wouldn't want to miss it. For some reason it bothered him, put him on edge. Not enough to make him stop publicly humiliating Kyle or yelling at him in front of crowds or fighting in the halls, but it bugged him either way. Why was everyone suddenly expecting something out of them. They were just enemies, nothing to see here. What bothered him most was that Kyle didn't seem to mind the crowds, which was backwards, considering that Kyle was the one who didn't like to make big deals out of anything and Cartman loved to make trouble.

"I said get out of my house!"

"But Kyle I just wanted to visit you. Why are you so mean to me?"

"You're not fooling anyone, Cartman." It came from Stan. Why was it that when Stan said something to him it wasn't nearly as frustrating as when the Jew opened his mouth? Eric was about to retaliate when Stan's phone went off and they all stared at him as he answered it. "Hey Wendy... Yeah... But I can't leave, Kyle and the fat one are at it again... Uh, no. I'm not so sure they will. Dude, Wendy, they're right here. Yeah... Alright fine I'll be over in five. Bye." He hung up and stuck it back in his pocket. "Sorry, Kyle, gotta go, boyfriend duty." He slowly got up and made his way to the door.

Leaving the two of them together, alone, in the house. Somehow, Stan seemed hesitant before he walked out the door and shut it silently. He could hear the screaming continue once it did.

"Seriously, Cartman, leave."

"No."

Kyle groaned and laid on the couch. He'd call 911 if Barbrady would be of any use. No one was of any use when it came to punishing Cartman. That's why he was such a pissant. He could feel Cartman's triumphant smile as the boy rounded the couch and sat down by his head. "I hate you so much, Cartman. Can't you go pick on someone else for once?" It was a good question, one the larger boy had been asked many times. The answer was always of the same vein.

"Because there's no one I hate as much as you, Kyle." It was partly true, the real reason was because he reacted the most deliciously, the one that made him feel like he had actual power over the boy's emotions. He could piss people off, make them afraid, but no one was like Kyle. In the moment where Kyle fought back, it was pure hatred. Not hatred diluted by having to act nice, or social boundaries because he was a child. When he tricked Kyle, it wasn't the same as the people he lied to that he knew or only knew barely, Kyle knew him oh so well and could still be conned every so often.

And with every year, their hatred became all that more addicting to Eric Cartman. Kyle was someone Cartman could, and would, always torment. Life was just better that way. Of course, Kyle couldn't know that it was because he still reacted that Cartman stayed, Kyle might just try to stop reacting. Not that he'd never tried that before, but if it was actually the answer he'd put all his will into it no doubt.

Kyle reacted this time differently than he had for all the years before. "Then I wish you didn't hate me so much."

Amber eyes stared at the mess of red hair, since Kyle's face was boored into the couch. The words had been muffled but they were clear. It was a strange reaction to have, wasn't it? To not want to be hated by someone you hate. It was ridiculous and so unbelievably Jewish. He thought to himself how Kyle was a god damned hippie as he focused on the TV momentarily, watching a commercial. "Kyle, get me some cheesy poofs."

"Fuck you." It was simple, halfassed. Kyle didn't want to fight anymore. It pissed Cartman off. Hadn't he JUST been thinking about how he loved that Kyle fought back?

Enjoyed, he ENJOYED that Kyle fought back. Love is a sissy word.

Annoyed at his Jewish... Friend? Rival? Enemy? Whatever they were, he was annoyed at the bitch, so he poked him hard in the shoulder blade. The boy moved uncomfortably without so much as a peep, so he did it again harder.

"Stop." This was weak.

"Whatever, you're not being any fun. Screw you, Kyle, I'm going home." He did his hand motions, got up, and left the house. He couldn't help but suspect that this might have been Kyle's plan all along, but it didn't matter. Right now the ginger just wasn't any fun. While stomping through the Jew yard, he stopped, and wrote 'FAG' in the snow in yellow letters as big as he could manage. Then he barged home, fully considering how to make Kyle miserable tomorrow.

Kyle, after thirty minutes of just laying there, let himself roll off the couch and onto the floor, his back down. He stared at the ceiling for five minutes before getting up. It was too silent. He went up to his room and turned on MC Dreidel jus because it was already in his CD player. He looked out his window with a slight melancholy, maybe he didn't like being home alone. Then he saw the letters written in yellow in his yard.

He sighed. Though he knew that Cartman didn't know he was gay, as proven by the fact that he left instead of picking on him about being so, it still sucked that he had to now get picked on about it anyways. He just was exasperated about Cartman. Granted, he had so far had a lot less of him since winter break. He, too, had noticed how everyone was watching the two when they fought. It didn't really bother him any more than the actual fighting, but nonetheless he noticed it. And when he was alone, he thought a lot about it. Unnaturally so. He sighed and laid down. Stan would probably come back later, and Kyle couldn't blame him for having to go with his girlfriend. He wished he could have, well, a boyfriend he supposed. But that would just open a whole new world of issues with him. Like coming out. He didn't want to even think of his mother's reaction to that.

The Jew stared at the ceiling again and considered how Stan had asked if he was gay. Stan wouldn't care, afterall he never cared if anyone else was gay, and Stan could keep a secret. But who else could have guessed? If Stan knew, Wendy probably knew. She was smart and knew about as much about him as Stan now after some digging and bugging Stan, which Kyle allowed because he didn't want to interfere in their relationship no matter how insane it seemed sometimes.

Kyle also was surprised that he wasn't attracted to Stan. Of course, it wasn't like the thought had never crossed his mind, or that he'd never imagined his friend that way. But it didn't stick, and he never got a fluttery feeling or anything. Actually, in some weird irony or suppressed human instinct, he liked the bad kids like Craig a lot more. Or older kids. It was easy to have crushes on celebrities, too, who portrayed the bad boy, or the Byronic hero. Still, though, he hadn't fallen for anyone, so much so that he didn't even take the offers given to him. It had surprised him whenever he got asked out, male or female. He didn't really have an ego, probably thanks to far too much time with Cartman, and so it was nice. He didn't like how his first thought was always in the realm of paranoia, but it made him feel nice to be asked all the same.

Anyways, it was against the Jewish religion to have sexual intercourse of any kind with a man. Not to love other men, but to act upon it. Well, it wasn't like he had never masturbated before, which was also prohibited, but still. His mom probably wouldn't find out if he ever came outside a vagina as long as he never proved it with something like being gay. Stupid destruction of the seed.

He rolled over and fell asleep. He had nothing better to do anyways.

Cartman, now safely at his house, wanted to plot. He would get Kyle back for being such an uninteresting wimp. He scribbled out ideas without really thinking, as if waiting for something interesting to come up and pop off the page. He was reminded of all the times he had almost lost Kyle, and found himself bored. He didn't want to lose his jew rat.

THE jew rat. Not his. His was too personal.

After three hours of just scribbling ideas, nothing interesting came up. He was creative, but he'd been doing this for too long. Too many ideas had already been used. He went out with his mom until night hit the sky and then browsed the internet and thought some more, demanding stuff from his mother often. He was bored and frustrated that he couldn't think of anything to really bother Kyle with, especially with his new mood, so he decided around midnight to go with the usual.

Getting dressed, he went out the front door. His mom wouldn't even notice, as he could hear her being banged in her own room as he had passed. Making his way through the cold, he looked around, white in the dark was beautiful. To bad he was freezing his balls off and had seen it so many times that it had lost it's splendor. He climbed up the side of the house and into Kyle's room. Something he had perfected. He slowly and quieted got into the room and looked evilly at Kyle's bed.

And Kyle wasn't even there.

Thinking to himself that that was strange, and then wondering if he had gone to Stan's to sleep or something, he smiled. He could ruin the house! Then he heard movement and he squished himself under the desk and put the chair in front of him. It was a bad hiding spot but he already knew the closet was too packed for him to fit in. Luckily, Kyle didn't turn the lights on as he walked into the room, covered in only a towel. Cartman looked away momentarily, giving the man some privacy, before he remembered he'd already betrayed all privacy by sneaking into his room under the pretense he was sleeping and then hiding instead of announcing he was here.

So he watched as the lithe redhead, dripping curls heavy and more wavy and dark, as he didn't even bother getting dressed and lust laid in bed, convering himself with a loose blanket. The boy seemed to stare at space for a long time before he jerked momentarily and Eric realised he was touching himself.

Where was his video camera when he needed it? He watched half in horror and half in curiosity as the boy stroked himself under the covers, suddenly a bit curious as to how large he was and what down there looked like, then mentally slapping himself for asking. The silent room seemed to get more uncomfortable and heated as the sounds of his classmate's masturbation and vocals echoing throughout the area. Eric blushed a few times at the high pitched gasps and wondered exactly who gasps like that while just jacking off. It was like a girl or something.

Yes, it reminded him of a girl, and that's exactly why he was hard.

Right?

Eventually Kyle finished, oddly with a quiet few jerks than a sigh. Seemingly he wiped himself with a towel and then threw it off the bed before rolling over and going to sleep. Cartman sat still, pain raking up his body, before sliding out from under the desk and stretching silently, purposely not cracking any bones. He could scare the shit out of Kyle now, but that didn't seem very fun. Especially considering a certain feature he didn't want to be seen sporting. As he headed for the door, wanting out of the room more than the house, the floor creaked and he froze.

"God... damn... Cartman... leave... alone... beh." The chubby face smiled. Yes, that was right, the Jew would dream about all the evil deeds he'd eventually do to him or had done in the past. He looked around momentarily and saw the towel. He picked it up, it was damp and warm from jizz, sweat, and shower water and he didn't know why but he took it with him as he snuck out of the room and eventually out of the house. 


	3. Expelling Air

A/N: Not a very long nor exciting chapter, but I hope you enjoy it anyways.

--

It was four whole days before Cartman dared go back to the Jew's house. Of course Kyle didn't know, or else his face would have been smashed in by Stan he was sure. It was to gain his own composure, to be able to look at so much as a picture with Kyle in it without blushing insanely and imagining the boy in the throes of passion with himself. He kept telling himself that Kyle just happened to be masturbating, there was nothing special about that, and that he was overreacting.

Then he started wondering why he was overreacting.

And then he would firmly put his mind elsewhere because he really didn't want to think about that. He also tried to ignore the musky smell of the towel that had been dried and folded ever so neatly and put into his closet whenever he went in there. The idea of washing it didn't cross his mind.

Kyle, however, had been having a great time without the lardmonster to bother him. Kenny had spent the night twice in that time, the boy glad to be out of the house especially around the stressful holidays. He had left, off to nail some chick probably. Stan might come over later, but Wendy had thrown some big fit for some reason recently so who knew? He found himself reading a lot when he was alone, surprised by how great it was to live by yourself once you got used to the empty spanse of time in isolation. He was just now curling up to a book when the door rang. He wasn't expecting anyone over, so he could guess who it was.

He just stayed.

The bell rang incessantly, the door was beat on. Finally a large for came by his window and stared at him as he stared lazily back, silently willing the boy to just go away. No such luck, as he saw Cartman raise a rock and motion to break the glass with it. The Jew, still in some pajama pants and a lazy white tee, jumped up and glared at him before going to unlock the door. He waited for Cartman to round the corner before glaring once more.

"What do you want?"

"Why, Kyle, what did I do to make you so upset at me?"

Silence. "Exist, usually." He shrugged and motioned for the chubby boy to come in. The bigger boy did follow, looking around as if anything had changed. He felt a bit awkward, honestly, but that wouldn't show.

"Kyle, I heard that both Stan and Kenny have spent the night so far. When do I get to?"

Deadpan stare. "You don't." It was monotone. It pissed Cartman off. What was with this kid? Had he really just suddenly matured and decided fighting wasn't worth it? Because that was lame if that was the case. "I don't even know what would give you the idea that you would be."

"But Kyle, you're letting the other boys."

"I like the other boys." That was the wrong thing to say. The smirk taunted him. The jew opened his mouth again. "Don't even."

"I get it, this is your brothel?" He looked around, as if having a newfound appreciation for the place. "To think that Kenny saved up his money for two nights."

He could see it, the twitch of anger under Kyle's skin. He'd struck a nerve, even if Kyle was desperately trying to calm himself and remain in control and not show it. It was on the tip of Cartman's tongue, the accusation that the other boy might be ACTUALLY gay. The realization that these weren't just empty insults. But he got distracted quite on purpose of a little redhead.

"Fine, if you want to spend the night, I don't care. You're paying for pizza though."

"Sweet."

Kyle knew this was a mistake even as Cartman sat on his couch, leaving the Jew to just think about what he had done. It was just, he couldn't let Cartman find out there was just one more minority he fit into the category of, along with 'ginger', 'jew', 'nerd', and whatever else he forgot. He sighed and went into the kitchen, leaving Cartman by himself. Cartman called after him to get something but he wasn't even listening. He was already dreading this. He cut himself up some cheese into sticks just as a snack and brought a few for Cartman, which he just put in front of him on the coffee table and sat down on the couch next to him silently.

"I don't want fucking cheese, you goddamned hippie!"

"Then make your own snacks." It was simple and it seemed to shut Cartman up, even though he seemed to be seething as well. Kyle didn't really care how Cartman felt, it wasn't any of his business, even if he caused it. God knows that Eric didn't care about his feelings. Okay, maybe he did care, since he was highly moralistic and in general cared about people, if you could even consider the lardass human. "Fine, what do you want?" His parents always taught him to be a good host, afterall.

"I dunno, it doesn't matter, I'll just eat your stupid cheesesticks." Why was Cartman still angry?

He wasn't angry in actuality, he was frustrated. Being able to see pictures and not think about certain things wasn't the same as being this close to the boy, watching him move as lithely as he did, hear his voice. Especially when he sighed. Eric's eyes furrowed thickly as he tried to regain some composure. If only Kyle would get angry. He imagined Kyle angry at him and quickly decided that maybe he didn't want Kyle angry at him, the fire behind the eyes of the Jew might just be the wrong thing for him.

This is the point where he should have decided to go home. And he didn't, it didn't even cross his mind.

"Do you still watch Terrance and Philip, Kyle?"

"Not really." He took a bite of the cheese. "Once in awhile when nothing's on I'll turn it on but for the most part I've outgrown the humor itself, it's more of a nostalgia factor now."

"Does Ike like it?"

There was a moment where all was quiet as Kyle looked suspiciously at the boy from the corner of his eye. "Ike's always thought it was stupid."

"Oh." Silence. Silence. More silence. It hung over them like stalactites shaking from an earthquake. Kyle had begun to think to himself, ignoring Cartman's existence for the moment, so the silence didn't really even bother him. Cartman, however, was very one track. He was almost shaking with anger at himself already, dammit. Then Kyle sighed. and his body froze. He shifted uncomfortably. They just sat there for an hour, watching some reality TV show that was decent, Kyle sighing and making other noises without even realizing it quite often. Cartman cursed himself, because now that he thought about it Kyle had been doing that for a month now and it only was now bothering him. "Kyle, you have been sighing a lot, is there any particular reason?" Cartman finally butted in, trying to sound sincere. Well, he was, because he wanted Kyle to stop, and to stop right this very instant, dammit.

Green eyes stared at him with a bit of an edge. "Why do you care?"

Yeah, why? "Here I am, worried about your feelings Kyle, and there you go being cruel again." No change in look, okay so it wasn't true and wasn't believed. "The sighing has been annoying me for awhile and I decided that it was time for you to shut your jew trap. Well, knowing you, you won't do that until you talk to someone because you're gay like that. So here you go."

"And you think I'd talk over anything with you?"

"Well, no, but most people won't ask what the problem is and why you're moping because most people won't notice." Cartman shrugged. "So here's your chance." It was true, too, perhaps not the sole reason Cartman wanted him to talk about it, but true.

But just then, the opposite of what he wanted happened. "I don't trust you for one goddamned minute, Cartman! You just want to know what's plaguing me because then you can pick and pry at it until it's an open wound and then you'll humiliate me! We've played this game before." He stood up and made his way for the stairs. "We've played it since we met." The jew hadn't expected the larger boy to actually follow him. "Go away, you're not invited anymore!" But that didn't stop Cartman from following him up to his room, where he tried to slam the door in the boys face. A large hand stopped the door from shutting but didn't try to open it.

"Is it really that big of a deal?"

A moment passed before Kyle responded. "Probably not for just anyone, but it is to me." The ginger teen forced his back to the door, Cartman holding him in place. He didn't want to tell Eric about this, he didn't. But here someone was, already open to talk about it. Stan was nice, sure, but he never really caught on to anything without the obvious right in front of him. Kenny had other things on his mind, like money and women. Him and Kenny didn't talk much, actually. But by saying it was a big deal to him was a double edged sword with Cartman. In one way, it meant that the rest of the public wouldn't really ridicule him about it, no one else would probably think it a big deal, but it was a big deal to him, so Cartman could just pick on him solely about it.

Why did he want to tell Cartman about it? He knew it would just lead to his own agony. He refrained from saying anything more about it and was surprised to hear Cartman say in a low tone on the other side of the door. "You don't have to tell me, geez, I was just asking. Like I really care what's bothering you anyways. Just stop sighing and moping around, it's pathetic." He smiled slightly, despite himself, and got out of the way of the door as it opened. "So what should we do?"

Kyle jumped on his bed, back down. "I don't know. I've had about as much of games as I can stand recently. Kenny likes to play a lot." He didn't notice how Cartman was frozen in place as the skinny boy wiggled to get comfortable on his own bed.

This was going to be a long night, wasn't it?


	4. Whispered Truths

AN: So I was reading this story (I'm vain) and realized this part wasn't anywhere... Weird. So I rewrote it and added it. Sorry.

It was bugging Kyle all night, even after Cartman had gone to sleep. They had done a bunch of nothing, watched a couple of movies, fought some more, until Cartman had passed out on his floor.

Cartman hadn't indicated he cared any more that night about what had bugging Kyle. He probably didn't really care, no there was no probably about it that's just the way it had to be. However, he had offered an ear and because of that Kyle couldn't help but take it into thought. This could be his only outlet, and afterall, would anyone believe Cartman if he said anything? No, they probably wouldn't if he could keep a straight face, and him getting angry would just be passed off as his usual hatred.

"Hey." No response, had he expected one? "Cartman." Nothing, so he kicked Cartman in the gut from his sitting position on the bed. "Hey, Cartman!"

"W-What? Goddamn it, you Jew, what the hell do you want?"

Kyle was suddenly shy. "Um." He scratched his uncovered head. "I was wondering I could still tell you what was wrong."

"No. I'm going to bed, fucker."

"I'm gay."

Silence fell over them for a moment and Cartman turned to him. "Gross. But of course you are." Eric didn't really think it was gross, he didn't really care about gays. He just wanted to sleep.

"But I'm Jewish."

Now, that was gross, but Cartman wasn't in the mood. "And your point?"

"While Jews aren't really not allowed to be homosexual, in itself, the idea of... sperm going anywhere other than in a womans vagina is... considered a waste of life. It's pretty much banned." The redhead sighed. "It's a comflict of interests."

Eric Theodore Cartman would care any other time, meaning he'd take this moment to pretty much tear the gay boy a new one, but now was not the time. He wanted to sleep.

"So what? Everyone breaks religious rules sometime. And even if I took your cult seriously, which I don't, it just sounds like outdated mumbo jumbo. I'm sure there are a bunch of gay Jews. Disgusting. At least their not breeding." And with that, he shrugged and rolled back over and went to sleep.

Somehow, Kyle didn't feel any better. He felt worse, actually. He sighed and laid down himself. Cartman will always be useless, he was stupid for hoping. 


	5. Against A Wall

A/N: This chapter seems to have come fast and goes fast. So if it's confusing, I apologize. *Shrug*

--

Cartman hadn't seen Kyle in a couple days and Winter Break was waning away. That was entirely on purpose. He had seemed joyful enough in the morning after the staying the night, not sighing as much. It was so like the hippie to feel better after talking about his problems. But he found himself thinking more and more about Kyle in a way he really didn't want to, probably fueled by the newfound discovery that Kyle was gay.

Not that Eric was, of course.

He had been in town buying anew video game when he saw Kyle and groaned himself. The boy looked mopey again. There was a moment where he contemplated walking away entirely and acting like he didn't see him, to just leave and not care like Eric Cartman should. For some reason, he didn't.

"God, Kyle, you look like the Nazis burned your entire family." Eric said cheerfully, entirely himself.

It was Kyle that reacted weird, and by weird meant not at all. "Hi Cartman." It was the same tone as 'Hi Chef.' whenever they were about to ask Chef a question. Yep, Eric knew he should have ran while he had the chance. But Kyle didn't ask a question and he just kept walking. It pissed Eric off. It was so obvious what was on Kyle's mind now that it was boring. They went three blocks silently before he couldn't take his own anger. Growling, he pushed Kyle into an alley, where he pulled him by his neck deeper into it. "God. Damn. It. Kyle. I'll. Kick. You. In. The. Nuts."

"What?"

"You're so mopey and boring and GAH!" The larger boy threw his fists momentarily at nothing at all. "Okay, so your a faggot that just happens to be Jewish! Who fucking cares? You can't be the first person that has this issue." He growled. And it was true, and Kyle knew it, but all he did was shrug in response. Cartman looked him over for a moment, a vein threatening to burst in his anger. "Let's put it this way, Kyle Brovloski. How do I usually act towards you?"

"You insult me and make empty threats and diss everything that I am."

"Yes, and how do you think I react when you don't react to those insults and empty threats?" No answer, but Kyle seemed intrigued. "I want to kick your fucking ass and watch you bleed! So much that I might actually do it. Which would be fine but it's just not mentally satisfying."

"So you're angry because you're bored?"

"No, I'm angry because you're ruining my fun!"

"Do you want me to apologize?" Kyle asked incredulously.

Cartman saw his point, really he did, he just didn't care. "I don't care if you don't react, Kyle, I don't care if you've matured past the point of responding. But don't do it for something so stupid!" He was yelling now. He was losing his cool, his control. And there Kyle was, just watching him expectantly. "Goddamnit!"

Cartman spun Kyle around so he was facing the wall forcefully and pressed him against it by his shoulder. The Jewish teen yelped slightly and tried to get away but the larger boy held tight so he froze, trying to find out exactly what the other boy was up to. "Cartman?" He could feel the movement as Cartman pulled his glove off with his teeth.

"Just, shut up, okay?" Cartman forced out around the glove before spitting it onto the ground, while his hand snaked and unbuttoned Kyle's pants. Kyle's understanding of the situation was slow but his body tried to pull away immediately to no avail before realizing just what was happening. "Listen," He started with a low voice. "It's so much not a big deal that I'll do it for you, even though I hate your Jew guts." The trousers were unzipped and pulled down slightly and the large hand clumsily felt around for what it was looking for.

Kyle was pissed and confused. "Get the fuck off me Cartman."

"No."

Was it just them, or was this entire argument just a bit false? Why was it so halfassed? Why was Cartman doing this and why was Kyle more or less allowing it to happen? Neither of them thought about it, because then they'd have to reflect on themselves. That seemed extremely dangerous. So instad, Kyle silently tried to pull away and Cartman ignored it entirely.

A thick palm placed itself over Kyle's cock, and Eric could hear the Jew gasp slightly. Cartman had decided why Kyle was so sensitive, as he had noticed the night he had watched the boy masturbate. It was because Kyle obviously had little experience with it because of his guilt about such things. His fingers brought out the currently limp penis into the cold air and wondered if it would even work considering the temperature. However, even as he brought it out it started to twitch in his hand. Smirking to himself, he wrapped his fingers around it. Tempted to say something to humiliate the boy, he refrained.

Kyle moved under him, not really trying to pull away anymore but just in reaction to what was happening. Watching the boy writhe made the larger boy hard before even the prick in his hand, making him roll his eyes at himself, unable to do anything else to vent his frustration at the whole thing because Kyle couldn't very well know his body was reacting to this. Silently he started to stroke the Jew's cock, the boy gasping and quickly getting fully erect.

It was a silent occurance and neither one of them wanted to say anything, the sounds protruding from the nearby streets and the light gasps and moans from Kyle. Cartman tried to ignore the sensual sounds and movements fromt he Jew, he'd done things much more erotic than this without a second thought or any sexual satisfaction was he reacting now? A lot of things, but not all, had happened before puberty. That must be it. Right? Right.

Yeah right.

He felt Kyle resisting, Eric could tell by the sudden movements followed by lack of movement. The boy would hold his breathe and try to distract himself. "Hey, stop resisting and just cum already."

"I can't, I..." He'd feel guilty, hate himself as he already did. Kyle shouldn't have let it get this fault, he regretted it. And as Cartman released the hold on his back, that had increased weight and had been pressing him into the wall, he made to get away before remembering the constant rhythm running its way up and down his manhood. He moaned, disgusted with himself.

It was then that Cartman held something to his neck. First he was confused, opening his mouth. "Kyle, cum or I swear to God I will kill you where you stand." It took Kyle a moment before realizing what he was saying, and in the opposite of what any normal person would do, he relaxed. Orgasm ran through him, like waves throughout his body meeting up in his groin before splattering all over the brick wall of some building he couldn't even place in his head. His hands, which had been holding him up, acted like spinders and clenched onto the stone. His moans turned into a small cry that seemed to come straight from his lungs.

By the time he fell to the ground, panting and tired and spent, he was only able to see Cartman's large body turn the corner away. He lay there, broken, with only one thought being able to go through his head.

He hated Cartman. He hated him so fucking much. But, damned, Cartman was a fucking genius.

In the Jewish belief, he mused, current life is more important than possible life. This goes for abortion, which is alright by Jews even until the baby is mostly out of the body. Sperm would fall under this 'possible life' catagory. His destruction of the seed was null if it was in his best interest of survival. And he didn't doubt for a minute that Cartman would actually kill him if he didn't do as told.

It was genius. It was morbid. It was entirely Cartman-like except for one thing.

Why would Cartman do something to help him?

He stared at where he had last saw Eric, riding on his newfound euphoria due to an unexpected fact that someone jacking you off was even better than doing it yourself. He didn't know exactly what had happened, or why, or what was expected to become of the whole situation now. He didn't even know what to think about it.

Lame.

One thing was sure, however, and that was his life was never going to so much as border on normal.


	6. Rock Bottom

Kyle had thought about Cartman way too much recently. It couldn't possibly be healthy. Then again, how else do you react to someone who practically randomly gave you an unwanted handjob in a dark alleyway and you were only able to cum after they threatened you with death and then they left without another word? He had to be insane, obviously, because any other person wouldn't have been relieved at being threatened. Because any other person would have told Cartman to go fuck off and meant it, even if they were gay.

Any other person wouldn't care enough to be paranoid about not hearing from Cartman in this long, to think that the boy was avoiding him. And he, if he was in his right mind, wouldn't be upset about this whole 'Cartman's avoiding me' idea. No, he'd rejoice if Eric would just leave him alone.

So why did he feel like crap?

Kenny spent most of the nights over since Cartman, Stan had spent a couple. It looked like Stan and Wendy were going to break up again but nothing was for sure until it was for sure. Butters even spent the night once. There was no sign of Cartman returning, however, and he got quickly frustated that no one else seemed to notice his changes in emotions, first from normal to depressed and confused and guilty, then to anxious and unsure and pawning for... Well, he didn't want to think about that. But these were his best friends, in which he had known for practically forever, why weren't they noticing? Why didn't they figure that something was up, when the ever self-centered Cartman did?

It was enough to make him scream.

He wasn't sure if Cartman had actually helped or not. His focus wasn't on his own guilt anymore, which was good, and technically he had found a way to get off without any of that guilt. Not a reliable source, of course, but it was a loophole that comforted him all the same. But then he was just anxious and concerned about the whole Cartman thing.

This blew, this blew pretty hard.

Eventually his parents and Ike returned, and while Ike seemed to notice something, he didn't say anything. His parents were as wrapped into their own lives as ever. And two days after the return of his family, he returned back to school. Things should have been normal from there. They should have, and he had expected them to be, but they weren't.

He had shown up early to first period English like usual. Stan sat on one side of him, Kenny behind Stan. Cartman was late, also like usual. He sat on the other side of Kyle, which he had taken a habit of for easier undertone insults and stabbing with a pencil.

Today, he came through the door and Kyle watched him. He tried to avert his eyes but ended up looking away, deciding he had looked away for too long, and looked back before Cartman even reached the first row of desks. He cursed himself and looked away again, about to attempt to start something with Stan but he was talking to a football player. He turned to look at Kenny but he was already making out with some chick before the teacher got there.

Growling, he looked at Cartman again before burrowing his head into his arms. This was going to be a long day.

That's exactly what Cartman thought, fifteen minutes later, after having realized that Kyle had been staring at him off and on within that time. The fat boy attempted to ignore it and forced himself to look back. And even as he couldn't dare look at the ginger boy, he was forced to not know with exactly what look Kyle was giving him. Was it his glare with fire behind it? Was it a passive I hate you? Pure confusion, perhaps?

It was towards the end of the class period that he finally ventured to, with as calm a face as he could manage, gaze towards Kyle, who he could feel looking at him.

What was that?

Kyle was nibbling at his bottom lip, his lips slightly furrowed and green eyes staring at Cartman. Just staring, not glaring. It was a distant look, so much so that it took him a whole minute before he realized Cartman was looking at him back. When he did, he immediately looked away.

Oh great. This was not happening. This. Was. Not. Happening. Cartman forced himself also to look away. What in God's name was going on here? All he did was force the boy to cum and not feel guilty because of his stupid Jewish fate. Had only pressed him against a wall and jacked him off. Kyle should be looking at him with intent to kill, with pure hatred, with those looks he could deal with. Or at the very least, give him something like an expression that showed his inability to understand exactly what was going on. Instead, he was given some pussy ass look which was a little confused, a little upset, and mostly delicious.

Fuck.

And he knew very well that it was all extremely unintentional, that Kyle probably wasn't even aware he was looking at him half the time. That look of pure daydreaming. He wasn't daydreaming of him, was he? Oh hell no. He looked back at Kyle, who was looking at him again, and glared. No fucking Faggot Ginger Jew Hippie was going to imagine him. He was doing it again, looking all off in the distance like a moron. If Kyle was anything, it wasn't a moron. He rolled his eyes. This was ridiculous.

"Hey." He whispered, snapping his fingers in front of Kyle's face. The Jewish boy seemed to wake up. "I would appreciate it, Jewfag, if you would stop staring at my hot bod." Kyle blushed. He actually blushed. And it angered Eric because he couldn't decide if it was embarassing for himself or absolutely wonderful to watch. Then the Jew looked away and his own large head swivelled away after a moment's delay.

The class ended and both of them took their bags and barged out of the room first. What neither of them noticed, quite uncharacteristically of each of their very intuitive and observant minds, was that everyone else in the class watched them. The other kids didn't know what they knew, but they knew something had happened. Cartman lead, making his way down the hallway in which was quickly filling up with kids. Kyle followed.

"Listen, Cartman, we should talk."

"I do not want to talk, Kyle."

"I need answers!"

Cartman spun around to face Kyle, who ran into him and bounced back embarrassed. "What do you want me to answer for you, Kyle?" He now looked up to see people looking, so he pulled the redhead by his shirt sleeve out to a desolate corridor that leads to the principal's office. "Listen, I can't tell you how to feel about your gay Jewish stupidity. I can't even tell you what to think about the one thing I did to try to get you past that. I. Can't. Help. You. So go away, hippie. So stop looking at me so pathetically because it pisses me off!" Well, that was louder than expected.

"I'm sorry, Cartman."

That was it. Cartman slapped Kyle angrily. Kyle glared at him, so he did it again, so hard so that the hat actually came off a bit. "Yes, that's it Kyle. Look at me. Hate me. Be that goddamn Jew that hates me, let me hate you, and let everything be normal again."

"Let you hate me?" It was quiet, and lithe fingers touched where he had been slapped twice.

"What?"

Eyebrows were mocking the fat boy. "You said 'Be the goddamn Jew that hates me, let me hate you, and let everything be normal again.' Are you saying that you don't hate me?"

"OF COURSE I HATE YOU!"

Kyle didn't believe him. "Holy shit, dude."

"Noooo Kyyyaaalll." He whined. "I hate yoooou." Kyle just stared at him. "Stop that." Still staring. "I said stop it, Kyle!"

"Cartman, why did you help me?"

"I didn't help you, I exploited you."

"No, if you had exploited me, fatass, you would have mocked me afterwards instead of leaving. You would have taken pictures. I know you, Cartman, you've been acting strange."

It was on the tip of his tongue. 'I saw you masturbate.' or 'I keep thinking about you.' or 'If you moan one more time around me I will bend you over and...' Cartman's mind copied Mr. Slave. Oh, Jesus Christ! He was not thinking this. He was not thinking this. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! No. He went from anger to panic quickly.

He hated it when the Jewrat was right. Doesn't mean he'd admit it.

"Listen to me, Kyle, and listen well. You're the gay one here. Don't read so much into this because you're a horny faggot who can't laid because you can't come out. You think because I gave you a hand job that I like you back? False! I just want my fucking Jew to be worth making fun of again. Remember that I've done more sexual things than you've even dreamed of without so much as one erotic thought. That goes for what I did to you, and that is the reason I left without another word instead of cuddling up to you and telling you everything would be okay like some god damned queer." Cartman found himself out of breath at this long string of words spurting from his mouth uncontrollably.

"I will always hate you, Kyle Brofloski. I hate you more than any other person I have ever met. I want to see you die." Cartman walked away then, leaving the boy alone in the corridor.

Kyle had been abused by Cartman for many, many years. Verbal abuse, manipulation, even phyiscal abuse and attempts at his life. Why was this different? Why did the boy who had always been the queer daywalker Jew hippie feel like shit because of something he already knew? He felt himself collapse, almost exactly like when Cartman had felt him up in the alleyway. It was so similar, but the feeling in his stomach wasn't butterflies and waves and lovely little feelings of orgasm, no, the pit of his stomach seemed hard and heavy and though there were no tears, his eyes stung anyways. Had he really expected anything else? And if so, why did he even want anything else?

He hung his head and cried openly in the empty hall.

He couldn't possibly know that, for whatever reason, Cartman had that same heavy feeling as if rocks had taken over his innerds. Cartman, however, was used to hiding his emotions and even more used to carrying a bit of extra weight.

Neither knew what they wanted, exactly, but they knew they had just taken ten steps back from achieving it. 


	7. Like A Book

Girls had found Kyle crying, much to his own embarassment, and he had spent many hours talking to Mr. Mackey, who had started working at the highschool while they had been in middle school, in the counselor's office. Since then, the girl half of the sophmore student body had made the connection that Cartman was to blame and took turns glaring at him evilly in every class.

By the time fourth period had rolled by and Kyle had made his way out of the grips of 'Mmkays' and strange speeches that he wasn't sure even pertained to him, it was a class in which he shared with Cartman. He was almost late to it, even so much that Cartman had arrived before him. There was one seat left ont he opposite side of the classroom from him so he took it.

The next class, which Cartman, Kenny, and Kyle all shared together had the seats around him quickly taken up by women. He then noticed the girls glaring at the larger boy and realized just what was happening. The girls were, in his defense, keeping the two of them away from one another.

He tried to ignore it, he didn't have any desire to talk to Eric anyways after all that had happened, but the sheer fact that he couldn't sit next to him or talk to him, made obvious by the rest of the day in the halls, where girls actively moved around each of them. Cartman picked fights with them and insulted them deeply but other than that it didn't seem to bother him. Which frustrated Kyle, because he really was annoyed by all the girls keeping them away from one another.

Stan sat next to him in his last class, economics. "Hey, what's up?"

What do you say in this scenario? 'Oh you know, Cartman molested me and now I'm upset because I feel unwanted despite of it.' 'I want my enemies attention simply because I can't have it.' 'I think I'm thinking about Eric Cartman too much.' Stan was the one other person that knew he was gay, he couldn't say these things about the Nazi wannabe because Stan would assume that it meant Kyle actually liked the lardass.

Oh no.

"Hey, Kyle, are you alright?" It was a valid question, as the redhead had just gone extremely white, which was strange because he wasn't usually pale at all, being a daywalker and all. "Kyle?" He watched Kyle for a while longer before pinching his nose. "It has to do with Cartman, doesn't it?"

There it was. Kyle was staring at him in shock, as if wondering if Stan had the ability to read minds. The black haired boy was reminded of his time trying to teach people that talking to dead people was a trick. It was like Kyle thought Stan could see through his soul, which ironically made what he had been thinking perfectly obvious. Stan regretted saying anything, so he pretended to be completely unaware of what everyone in the school knew. "What'd he do now? Another attempt at your life?" He felt bad, but he really didn't like to be in the middle of things.

Kyle sighed and paid attention to class instead of answering and Stan didn't ask any more questions. Kyle also purposefully went to the office after going to his locker. He'd walk home, he really didn't want to ride the bus and be near Cartman or Stan right now. Kenny was still cool as ever but he was too neutral sometimes. Actually, he didn't want to be next to anyone. Before the bus even left, he called his mom and told her he'd be late, no not to bother picking him up he had barely any homework anyways and the fresh air would do him some good.

After promising to his mother that he'd eat extra that night to make up for lost carbs, he walked outside and headed down the street. Since he had no hurry, he went to his old elementary school a couple blocks down the road he was walking on anyways. All the kids had already gone, seeing as classes ended earlier for them than secondary school, so he strolled mindlessly through the playground.

How many fights had him and Cartman had on this very lawn? He sat on the swingset and kicked himself lazily from the ground. He had so very firmly hated Cartman, what had changed? Now, it seemed obvious to him that maybe what he felt for the lard ass wasn't hate. Then again, had he really truly hated the kid? Now that he thought about him, he had always broke down and done nice things for the other boy after Eric's manipulation. That's how it would always be, he realized, he'd hate Eric until Eric seemed to need him, and then the damned Nazi would always laugh at him because of it. Maybe the boy had been telling the truth when he said this was all to exploit him.

It started then, the tears dripping down his face. He stopped the swing and buried his head in his hands. This all was too ridiculous, his emotions too much like a rollercoaster. If this was being gay, he really rather he wasn't. Not that he had a damned choice in the matter. He let himself cry, returning to what had been interuppted by the girls who had found him earlier. No one would care here, the children gone and the teachers busy. It was safe here, safer than at home where his mother would pry or his brother would look right through him. Safe from his friends, who would only come to their own conclusions. Safe from children who would start rumors. And safe from Cartman, who would only want to watch his downfall.

He wasn't really, though, because Cartman came walking by the school yard awhile later, having just gotten out of detention. The fat boy often had to stay after school and his mother, thinking it would be good for him, started making him walk home. He hadn't noticed anything different at first, but eventually he saw Kyle, who was recognizable by his clothes. Cartman cursed to himself as he realized that Kyle was crying because his heart quivered at the thought of it. He should be smiling, not worried.

The rat was probably doing all this just to manipulate him, snake in the grass as he was. He growled and hid behind a nearby tree, just in case the boy stopped sobbing like a baby and managed to look up at his distant figure. He, too, would be instantly recognized even from far away. His mind worked quickly, as if to decide what was the best route. Part of him wanted to go laugh at the Jew, part of him wanted to go hug him like a faggot. He watched for a bit longer, taking in a sight he'd only managed to accomplish a few times before.

Cartman really didn't see what the big fucking deal was. He'd be willing to admit it was his anti-semitism speaking, but it was kind of ridiculous nonetheless. How much drama could the little daywalker put into one little problem? It seemed like an honest issue, though, what with how much balling the other boy was doing right now.

He sighed lightly and did the kindest thing he thought he could do right now, he walked away. After all, hadn't he pretty much just told Kyle to go fuck himself? It seemed he did a lot of walking away when it came to Kyle lately. He mused as he trudged through the loud snow, which buckled underneath him powerlessly. He really didn't like walking away, it made everything seem unfinished, but he didn't know how to deal with a lot of emotion, one of the reasons he hated women for anything more than food and tits. He didn't honestly think he could actually have a girlfriend, and no it wasnt because of anything wrong with him, thank you very much.

But now that he thought about it, he never found a girl that wouldn't be a bitch about what he was. He was a womanizer, yes, but beyond that women cared too much to be able to stand his antisemitism. In fact, most people couldn't stand him, even his friends. And especially Kyle, who his mind lingered on once more.

Why had everything come back to the Auschwitz reject? He trudged into his house, thinking absently about the redhead.

The next day they both called in sick to school, in order to avoid the other one. Kyle and Cartman both were unaware of the other's absence, of course, but it did not go unnoticed by the rest of the school, who had promptly assumed, as teens do, that they were absent together. Stan and Kenny, when asked if they knew anything, said they didn't and stayed out of it. So it was no surprise the next day that the boys didn't warn the others about what they were about to face.

The four boys walked into the school together, as usual, only to be faced by everyone's expectant stares. Kyle immediately looked around, to see if he had a stain on his shirt or something, Kenny figured out what was going on, Stan stared back, and Cartman started to insult people left and right. The were an unlikely bunch, weren't they? But that's not everyone was thinking, no, they took the looks, Kyle's shy unsureness and Cartman's self defense mechanism, as something they weren't.

Girls swarmed them, and men kind of growled and looked away. "So it's happened! Tell us all about it. Have you guys done it yet."

"Wait, done what?" Kyle asked shyly.

"Fucked each other." Kenny and Stan said at the same time, along with a few girls further away.

Kyle blinked, confused. "Who fucked each other?"

Stan stared at him and Kenny was the only one brave enough to answer, the girls stepping away realizing that a certain something hadn't actually happening. Muffled behind his hood, Kenny was the only one with balls to say what no one else, with what sounded like snarkiness. "You and Cartman, of course."

"WHAT?" Cartman finally piped up, having been busy fighting off girls and insulting anyone he could find something to pick on about. Kyle just looked shocked, secretly glad he wasn't blushing. "You've got to be fucking kidding me." 


	8. Eyes Upon Us

What's funny is all of this was finished except for a couple paragraphs for the last like two months. Sorry guys, perhaps more updates soon.

--

Stan had sputtered as he was glared at by both the Jew and the Nazi, sitting at the cafeteria as other kids ate breakfast. He had explained everything, the practical prophecy that the two of them would get together, the way that everyone had known since junior high. Kyle had stayed quiet the entire time, blushing furiously. Hadn't he already admitted to himself he had somewhat kind of sort of started to like Cartman? Now this, everyone had known before he had even figured out he was gay. That was unbelievable, because either it was a lucky guess, on everyone's part, or he was extremely stupid.

He wanted to bury himself.

Cartman, on the other hand, took every opportunity to call out how utterly ridiculous this was, remind everyone of how much he hated Jews, and most of all how much he hated this particular Jew. Of course he wasn't in love with Kyle, he didn't even like the twat. Eventually he reduced to mere 'fuck you' and 'this is retarded' remarks. Kenny's mouth was hidden as usual, but Cartman knew he was smiling, smirking more like, and wanted to smack his lips right off him.

All of them, however, had submitted to silence by the time they were in the class. Kyle sat in his normal spot, after all what was new? Nothing. Everything was the same except his knowledge of the people watching him. Cartman sat away from the group, however, and ultimately away from Kyle. The redhead knew this would be hard on the fat boy, after all Cartman really did care what people thought about him, albeit less than he cared about personal gain, and despite the fact that the larger man was delusional when it came to people's opinions anyways.

It was pathetic, however, because now Kyle's thoughts of Cartman, idiotic and pathetic as they already were, had taken a turn. Was this good? Did he actually have a chance with the boy? He sighed slightly and pulled out his notebook and scribbled down notes as he caught them, otherwise just doodling on the side of the page. From the looks of things, no, there was a snowball's chance in hell that Cartman liked him back. No doubt that Cartman was regretting the slight moment they had shared in the alleyway now. He ventured to look at the large boy, whom he had been thinking about but straining not to actually look towards.

Cartman's eyebrows were knitted as he stared straight on, thinking to himself. How dare these idiots think such things about him and Kyle. No, about him. Accusations against him, that's what it was, who cared about Kyle?

Well, okay so he had been maybe a little easier on the boy lately. That didn't mean he cared.

Junior High, huh? Man, rumors lasted long in a small town. It explained a lot but it pissed him off anyways. There was no way that he'd be with a Jew in any more of a way to exploit him and bury his face in the ground. Kyle was there solely for the purpose of entertainment through insult, nothing else. He wasn't important, he was nothing, a bug. Yes a bug... Who was staring at him. Cartman could feel green eyes piercing him lightly, no doubt unaware that they were lingering too long. No wonder people thought something was going on, with those eyes that wouldn't go away.

He was getting pissed, now. Other eyes had saw Kyle or something because they were slowly turning to him. It was that prickling sensation of being watched, the paranoia he already had multiplied. He growled slightly, just enough for the people in his immediate area to look at him, too. Damn.

Without thinking about it, he picked up his eraser, turned and threw it at the Jew. It hit the daydreaming Kyle bulls-eye and he yelped, which got a giggle from the class, before responding. "What the fuck was that for, fat ass?" He accused.

"Stop looking at me with your covetous Jew eyes."

The ginger glared at him. "I can't look anywhere on that side of the room WITHOUT seeing you, you tub of lard, you're huge."

"Shut the fuck up, Kyle, seriously. You're not funny." The Jew scoffed and rolled his eyes, as if to ask if Cartman though that he was himself.

"Excuse me children, are you quite done?" The teacher asked strictly, and the redhead blushed and sat more in his seat. Cartman, however, had another idea and got up and left the room altogether, leaving his stuff entirely.

Kyle, Stan, and Kenny knew that Cartman wouldn't be back today, and Stan leaned over. "You're in charge of giving him his stuff." Kenny nodded.

"Me? Why me?" The redhead whispered back. "I don't want to go within 10 miles of that man."

"We don't care, dude, he's your problem right now."

"Thanks a lot, asshole." With that, Kyle turned to his notes and didn't talk to them for the rest of the period.

The rest of the day went by without incident. This could be accredited to the lack of a certain Nazi. Kenny, Stan, and Kyle were back on talking terms after that particular class and even helped him carry Cartman's stuff to his locker, though assured him that, no, they would not take it to Eric. He sighed and resigned himself to it. Just one more thing to keep his head on something he really wished he hadn't become so attached to. It was pointless and pathetic and ultimately cliche. Most of the day, his head was running around the larger boy, orbiting perhaps, and it made him physically sick what he imagined at times. At one point he even had almost written 'Eric Cartman' on the piece of paper and then thoroughly imagined himself covering it with thing alike Cartman's name, hearts, little XOXO symbols. Blah.

At the bus stop, where he parted from Stan and Kenny, he was almost glad to be away from eyes that he felt could look through his soul. He lugged two backpacks, both extremely heavy because, hey, both of them read - though Kyle's was textbooks and Cartman's was no doubt anti-semantic propaganda. He could feel the snow crush under him more than usual and for a moment wondered how much snow collapsed under his, ew, crush. Yeah, that wording was pretty disgusting. So on the rest of the way he decided what to call his situation of feelings for the fat jerk.

He settled unsatisfied on 'emotional attachment' and 'object of his unwanted affections' as he got to Cartman's house. The car was gone, which meant that Cartman was probably here instead of hiding out after running from school. Not that he wouldn't just come home and cry to his mother and be allowed to stay home anyways. Some things just never change. He rang the doorbell, but no one answered. Figured, Cartman was a lazy bastard. He opened the door. Maybe Cartman wasn't home, in which case he'd just take the bag up to the room and if Cartman was there, he'd give him the bag. If the bastard wasn't there, all the better. He wouldn't have to deal with the cow, and it would thoroughly freak out the Nazi if a Jew stepped an unwatched foot into his room.

As he got to the top of the stairs, he called out. "Cartman, I got your bag." No use getting punched if he just walked in. He heard a scurrying in the room and a slam of first his bedroom door and then what Kyle guessed to be his closet. Kyle shrugged to himself and was about to just drop the bag by the unopened door when it opened to show a very flushed Cartman. "Uh, hi." Kyle let out awkwardly. He didn't want to see that redness and the out of breath look right now, seeing Cartman in a weak state just wasn't fitting. It wasn't the first time he'd seen him look so worn out, he was obese after all, but this was the first time since he'd admitted to himself that he liked Cartman. He felt a blush crawl unwanted over his own cheeks.

Cartman saw this and stared. Their eyes locked for a moment and they both wanted to vomit all over themselves, not in a Stan way but because they were disgusted with their own reactions. Cartman, as usual, was the first to reclaim himself and grabbed the bag and forced his dazed look into a glare.

"Yeah, I'll be going now." Kyle turned and began to head away.

"Why do you have to make everything so awkward, Kyle?" Cartman called after him, causing him to turn around in confusion. Not that he was confused at the message, it made sense he supposed, but that it was Eric that said it. Why was the boy surprising him left and right, and now that he thought about it, why was it that Eric was always doing the unexpected of him?

Cartman stared at the smaller boy, who seemed to have no answer. He had finally caught his breath, had been scared to all hell and running around getting rid of evidence, such as one telltale towel - and he didn't mean Towlie. He could feel something swell in his overlarge stomach every time he looked at the boy now, and he really wished it would go away. Worse of all, he missed Kyle as he used to be, feisty and snappish and full of hate for him.

It made him wonder if the Jew still hated him. Because he wasn't so sure he hated the Jew anymore. The boy... frustrated him. That was a good word.

Kyle responded finally. "What's to be awkward about, Cartman? You hate me and I hate you. I'm a Jew, a day-walker, a hippie. You're a Nazi, a fat ass, and a bastard. I'm gay, you're a dick. Everyone thinks we're going to be fucking, which is a remarkable revelation since you recently gave me a hand job. What isn't there to be awkward about, you idiot?"

He was lying. "You're lying." Oh, contemplative wording there. Cartman wanted to smack himself.

"What part did I say wasn't true?"

Cartman pulled his large body into the hallway. "It's not that, everything you said is true, except that I'm fat." Kyle rolled his eyes. "But you're not saying something." Kyle gulped, proof that Eric was onto something. He walked up to the redhead with an intimidating sneer, but he was shocked that Kyle didn't back away, given his sudden timidness.

"I have some things I'm going through, Cartman, you know that. In fact you're the only person who knows that, which severely disturbs me. I wish I hadn't told you anything."

"I haven't ratted you out."

"That worries me in itself." Emerald eyes were glaring at him, why?

"Fine, I'll tell someone."

"That's not what I mean and you know it!"

"Then what do you mean?"

"Why aren't you trying to humiliate me?"

"I told you that humiliating you when your like this is no fun, Jewrat. Don't you listen?"

"No." Kyle closed his eyes, as if sealing his doom. "If it were true that you wanted me to get angry, you'd humiliate me just to get your bantering rival back." Good point. Uh oh. Kyle knew him too well.

It was on the tip of his tongue again, the wanting to spew out stories about the towel and the moans and the sighing and how much the lithe redhead had been running through his mind. He'd been having dreams, too, horribly wonderful dreams. "Get out of my house, Kyle." He said, suddenly aware that the flashes of his recent thoughts had invited a rather unwelcome feeling in his groin. He wasn't hard, yet, but he didn't trust himself stay that way.

"No."

This wasn't what Cartman had mean twhen he had wished that Kyle would argue with him again. "Get out, Jew!" But instead Kyle made his way past him and went into his room.

"No, I think that since it bothers you, I'll stay."

Cartman didn't know what had gotten into Kyle, but he didn't like it. He followed quickly, painfully paranoid about Kyle digging into his stuff. "Get out of my fucking house you mangy Jew. No one told you to come over in the first place!" He was getting angry now, even if it was pressed on by something other than actual anger at Kyle.

Kyle flopped onto Cartman's bed and Cartman sat down, as to hide a hard on that had tried to peek itself. If fat and baggy clothes were good for anything, it was now. Kyle was just laying there, his hat automatically falling off and red curls popping out joyfully. Part of his stomach was visible and thoughts ran through the fat boy's mind like brainwashing videos. He steadied himself mentally.

"I believe I wanted to have a conversation a couple days ago, and then you tried to destroy me." Cartman almost smiled, almost frowned, remembering the crying boy on the swing. His face stayed stoically the same because he couldn't decide which way to go with it.

"God damn it Kyle, I hate you so much." He growled. "Fine, what do you want to talk about, you sissy?"


End file.
